40 years of marriage..

A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. 
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. 
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.' 

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband 
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. 

The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. 

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!... 
The husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: 
Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female..... 

SEND THIS TO A WOMAN WHO NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH . 
AND TO ANY MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT!

A married couple joke

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour.. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks cross at her and speaks in a clear voice.

'Darling,' he says. 'I know we've been married for twenty years,   but I want a divorce.' The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.

The husband   speaks again.   'I don't want you to try and talk me out of it', he says, 'because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far   better lover than you are.' Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the   steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55 mph.

He pushes his luck. 'I want the house,' he says insistently. Up to 60 mph. 'I want the car, too,' he continues. 65 mph. 'And,' he says, 'I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat...'

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: 'Isn't there
anything you want?'.   The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. 'No, I've got everything I need..' she says.
Oh, really?' he inquires, 'So what have you got?'

Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to
him and smiles.   .....'The airbag.'....

so never underestimate how a woman thinks.   Moral of the story:   Buy Toyota VIOS as it has only one airbag (for driver only). The husband sure to die and the wife gets everything!

So, for the husband don't buy a Vios today..... :)
Husbands, pls take insurance! but.. think twice before buying MCIS insurance.   
Know why?
' M.C.I.S ' = Mati Cepat Isteri Senang 

black condom

A 'just married' White couple decided to make love on their wedding night in the hotel.

The wife did not want to get pregnant yet and requested the husband to buy condoms from the shop nearby.

When the husband went out, the wife waited anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off.

The husband had a hard time finding a shop that sold condoms and when he finally found one, he realized that he had only one 20 cents coin.

He asks the shop owner to sell him one condom and the shop owner asked him which quality he wanted.

'The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black condom, average quality, is 20 cents each. And the purple condom, highest quality, is 25 cents each.' So the husband took the black condom as he had only 20 cents.

While the husband was out, a Black thief came into the room.The wife did not notice and thought that it was her husband. She grabbed the thief and happily started screwing.

The wife was so exhausted that she fell asleep immediately. When the husband reached the hotel, he found his wife sleeping.

Without a warning, he jumped onto her and started screwing her vigorously. The wife was surprised that the husband was so energetic and she thoroughly enjoyed the session.

Nine months later, the wife gave birth to a Black baby boy. When the boy grew up, he asked the father. 'Papa, why am I Black and you are White?'

The father shouted 'You are damn lucky, 5 cents more and you would have been PURPLE!

How a marriage works.

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'
'Where are you going, coochy cooh?' asked the wife.
'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer.'
The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India ,etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses...'
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?'
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'
You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'
'You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your f***ing beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherf***ing snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't f***ing going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?'
........and, they lived happily ever after.
Now, isn't that a sweet story?