Children Are Quick

TEACHER:     Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA:          Here it is.
TEACHER:    Correct.  Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS:          Maria. 
____________________________________  

TEACHER:    John, why are you doing your math multiplication on  the floor?
JOHN:           You told  me to do it without using tables. 
__________________________________________
TEACHER:   Glenn, how do you spell  'crocodile?'
GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' 
TEACHER:   No, that's wrong
GLENN:        Maybe it is wrong, but you  asked me how I spell it.    
(I   Love this child)
____________________________________________

TEACHER:    Donald, what is the chemical formula for  water?
DONALD:       H I J K L M N O 
TEACHER:    What are you talking  about?
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O.  
__________________________________ 

TEACHER:    Winnie, name one important thing we have  today
that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:        Me! 
__________________________________________    

TEACHER:    Glen, why do you always get so  dirty?
GLEN:           Well,  I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.  
_______________________________________ 

TEACHER:      Millie, give me a sentence starting with  '  I..  '
MILLIE:          I   is.. 
TEACHER:      No, Millie..... Always say, 'I   am.'
MILLIE:          All right...   'I am the ninth letter of the  alphabet.'   
________________________________ 

TEACHER:     George Washington not only chopped down his  father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do  you know why his father didn't punish  him?
LOUIS:            Because  George still had the axe in his  hand....   
______________________________________    

TEACHER:     Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say  prayers before eating?
SIMON:          No sir, I don't  have to, my Mum is a good cook.  
______________________________ 

TEACHER:         Clyde, your composition on  'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE  :          No, sir.. It's  the same dog.    

(I  want to adopt this kid!!!)
___________________________________ 

TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on  talking when people are no longer  interested? 
HAROLD:      A  teacher __________________________________   

PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S  MEDICINE!!

www.seberjokes.blogspot.com

7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. 


The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat
was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask  Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The  little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally
walk around to see each child's work.

As  she got to one little girl who was working diligently,
she asked what the drawing was.

The  girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without  missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing,
the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father  and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment  that teaches us how to treat our brothers and  sisters?'

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a  family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother
do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed
that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother  and inquisitively asked, 'Why
are some of your hairs white, Mum?'

Her  mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do  something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of  my hairs turns white.' 

The little girl thought about this revelation for a  while
and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of  grandma's
hairs are white?'


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher
was trying to persuade them each to buy a  copy of the
group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you  are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's  a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor..'

A  small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And  there's the teacher, she's dead.'


A teacher  was giving a lesson on the circulation of the  blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she  said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the  blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the  ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my  feet?'

A  little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the
table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note,
and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE. God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of
the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A  child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God  is watching the apples.'