A WomanTurns 50

A Woman had a   facelift for her 50th  birthday

She spends   $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home,   she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.

Before leaving,   she says to the clerk, 'I hope you

don't mind my asking, but how old do you   think I am?'

'About 32,' is   the reply.

'Nope! I'm   exactly 50,' the woman says happily.

 A little while   later she goes into McDonald's and asks the

counter girl the very same   question.

The girl   replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'

The woman   replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

 Now she's   feeling really good about herself.. She stops in a

drug  store on her way down   the street. She goes up to the counter to get

some mints and asks the clerk   this burning question.

The clerk   responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.

Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'

While waiting   for the bus to go home, she asks an old man

waiting next to her the same   question.

He replies,'I'm   78 and my eyesight is going. Although,

when I was young, there was a sure-fire   way to tell how old a woman was.

It sounds very forward, but it requires you   to let me put my hands under

your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you   EXACTLY how old you

are.'

They wait in   silence on the empty street until her curiosity

gets the best of her. She   finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go

ahead.'

He slips both of   his hands under her blouse and begins to feel

around very slowly and   carefully.. He bounces and weighs each breast

and he gently pinches each   nipple.. He pushes her breasts together and

rubs them against each   other.

After a couple   of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay,

okay....How old am I?'

He completes one   last squeeze of her breasts, removes his

hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'

Stunned and   amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible,

how could you tell?'

The old man   says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'

'I promise I   won't,' she says.

'I was behind   you in McDonalds